PFSB: What is time?

[riddleofthebelow]

Tom is in the bar. It could be on the date the post was made. It could be a week before. He comes here more often lately after all (but not nearly as much as Ingress, apparently!)

He's reading The Daily Prophet and scoffing a little. That's his usual response to this particular publication.

Comments

[lightamidchaos]

"To help," he repeats. "If you can."

"To help -- do what?"

[riddleofthebelow]

“To atone. To start making things right. To help one’s world - or one’s newly adopted home - instead of hurting it. It’s a damned difficult journey. Which is why... again, I don’t see how my aid could even be applied in his situation, because it sounds to me like he tried to make things right and helped instead of hurt in the first place.”

[lightamidchaos]

It is instantly clear to him why Wei Ying had told Tom that he did not wish to discuss his past further.

"There is nothing for which Wei Ying needs to atone."

The frost is back in his voice, now as sharp as the icy steel of Bichen's blade.

"He walks a different path from traditional cultivation, but he is not evil, despite the unconventional power he wields."

Lan Wangji looks him right in the eye.

"Do not press him on this, Tom-qianbei. You have shown great courtesy by opening your house. I will tell you what you need to know to be certain of your decision. But do not hound him further."

[riddleofthebelow]

His expression closes off and he draws back slightly, sitting up straighter. He meets Lan Wangji’s determined stare with ease, no color rising to his cheeks.

“This is exactly why I asked you for clarification,” he says in a clipped, much more formal tone.

“If I offended you with assumptions that I have attempted my best to clarify, I will ask for forgiveness, and I certainly won’t hound him further. But I will not - I will never - apologize for trying to help someone in the same ways others helped me.”

[lightamidchaos]

"Others have."

Steady and level, but the coldness to his words has receded at Tom's response.

"Pursued him. To his death, and beyond. Even here."

A beat of silence falls between them.

"You have not offended me. I wish to protect him in this, as I failed to do so before. He died for my failure, Tom-qianbei."

[riddleofthebelow]

Tom considers this information a moment before he speaks again, his voice gentle.

"Now I understand this particular situation in much better depth. I also understand the need to protect, especially when one has failed to do so before."

The summer he helped save the universe but then returned, sick and unhinged by that dreadful black sphere in the cavern, to find Door missing, kidnapped... His story had a happy ending. He doesn't like to think about what would have happened had it not.

[lightamidchaos]

He nods, and tries to decide what to say, how much to say, to explain as he has promised.

It is important, for Wei Ying loves the work that Tom has given him access to, loves the challenge of it, and has delighted in telling him of the House of Arch, of London Below and Above. He does not want to see him lose any of it, and fears that he would swallow his own pain and endure with a smile rather than risk upsetting or offending Tom.

“Wei Ying is brilliant,” he starts, simply. “This you know.”

“What you may not know is that he invented the practices of the - the ghost path, that he follows. It had not been done before. Even the most respected teacher of my own sect had never heard of such a way.”

And had thrown books at Wei Ying’s head for even suggesting it.

“During the war - the Sunshot Campaign - he created a spiritual tool of such power that he was able to seize control of an army of fierce corpses from the enemy and destroy them. Thousands died in that battle, but all would have died and all been lost, were it not for Wei Ying. But after that...”

He shakes his head, struggling for the right words.

[riddleofthebelow]

"After that, people acted as people will," he says, "having never learned from what's gone before?"

How terribly, terribly sad. He knew his instincts about Wei Wuxian were correct. He isn't evil, he's not like Tom. His path was different, offbeat, perhaps, but it was not the one Tom and so many others have tread on their way here.

And he had access to power that others did not. That alone will doom you, sometimes. Especially if you're a person who is not like Tom was.

[lightamidchaos]

Perhaps it is that simple, but he does not think so, not quite.

“The survivors,” he says. “Of the Wen - the ones who hadn’t —-“

“They were innocent. Elders and farmers and mothers and children. But they bore the Wen name, and were taken prisoner. When he learned—-“

Lan Wangji swallows hard. He can almost feel the ghostly sensation of rain against his skin.

“He gave up everything to protect them. And for a while, for a year, he succeeded.”

It had not been enough, and he should not have been alone in it, and the wrongness of it all threatens to choke him.

“But there were whispers. Rumors and fear and lies spread about him, because of his crafty tricks, and the power he controlled. And when they...”

He cannot. Cannot bring himself to say it, not all of it. Surely, surely he does not need to. Surely this will be enough, for what Tom needs.

“There was a trap,” he manages, finally. “An ambush. The heir to the Jin sect was killed. Wei Ying was blamed. The Wen remnants were slaughtered. He could not save them. He fought those responsible, with all the power at his command. I cannot count how many died in that battle, on that day. Including Wei Ying.”

[riddleofthebelow]

Tom listens quietly, carefully. The story unfurling is even worse, more tragic, than he imagined.

In a moment when Lan Wangji pauses, collecting the words that come with such difficulty, Tom discretely gestures for a waitrat and whispers for a pot of tea, nodding towards the younger man to indicate what kind would best be provided.

Tom remembers well being that younger man across the table, struggling for the words to divulge his secrets and confessions to patient confidants who listened without judgment. He always had a scotch in his shaking hand, at least. The least he can do is provide Lan Wangji tea.

"I'm so very sorry," he says. "Thank you for telling me. Should he ever need help - Dark Arts, wicked tricks, whatever you wish to call them, leave their marks, as we have discussed - I will readily provide it. But I know now that the situation is completely different than that of mine or others like me, and it will be treated as such."

The tea arrives, and Tom pours a cup for Lan Wangji. He's fairly certain that this goes against some expectation of etiquette, but if you aren't able to tell people that you care with words, you show them.

[lightamidchaos]

He accepts, recognizing the kindness offered, and appreciating it. Lan Wangji takes a polite sip and then settles his fingers around the cup on the table and tries to think what else to say.

(Something complicated flickers in his eyes when Tom mentions marks left, but he does not speak of that, not yet.)

"Wei Ying is good," he concludes, finally. "He is a friend to Herald Ingress, and to others here. He will give of himself to help where it is needed, even unasked. I trust him with everything I am, everything I have. You need have no concerns, Tom-qianbei."

"If you have questions. About what I have said. I will answer them."

He will cut himself open with the words and bleed, if doing so will spare Wei Ying pain.

[riddleofthebelow]

“I do not,” he says, his voice gentle. “And I never had concerns. I merely sought confirmation of what I felt must be true, because I didn’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. Wei Wuxian is a good man. It shines through him. I wouldn’t have opened my home to him had I not known that already in my heart.”

[lightamidchaos]

The relief is dizzying.

He nods, and takes a sip of tea.

[riddleofthebelow]

"I've wrung enough out of you, I feel," he says after another moment of silence unfurls between them. It's not an uncomfortable silence, at least not for Tom.

"Please know that even if his story had been different, more aligned to mine, I still would have offered all the aid and succor I could give. It's part of how I continue to make amends."

[lightamidchaos]

"I understand," he assures him. "Rest assured."

Both his tone and his expression harden as though carved from jade in truth, however, as he adds,

"Not everyone here has been so gracious."

[riddleofthebelow]

"Oh? Have you had difficulties? I know... how that can be."

[lightamidchaos]

Lan Wangji looks at him carefully.

"Do you know a woman named Moiraine?"

[riddleofthebelow]

Ah. Ahhhhhh.

"Yes. Yes, I do," he sighs, "and I count her as both a friend and an ally, despite a most inauspicious initial meeting many years ago. What's happened?"

[lightamidchaos]

He does not answer, at first, but instead asks,

"Inauspicious meeting?"

[riddleofthebelow]

"There was a terrible misunderstanding. We were both newly arrived; I had only just begun walking my new path. Dark magic clung to me, ever ready for me to access and use it again. I was told, incorrectly, that she wished to sever me from my magical source, to neutralize any danger I represented as a Dark Lord similar to the one she pledged her life to fight. When we met, there was something of a stand off, I fear, and our magical forces collided, and it was not- it did not go well for me. I lost consciousness, overwhelmed, and my friends, my wife, nearly went after her. But she was allowed to aid me, and she did, and when I was better, we began talking more, and... Well. Truly, if it weren't for Moiraine, I doubt very much I'd be the person I am today."

[lightamidchaos]

This does not reassure him at all. His fingers tighten around the tea cup.

"She spoke of a shadow."

[riddleofthebelow]

"Yes. She sensed it on me, as well. She's devoted to her fight against the evil that plagues her world. In all its forms, through all its connections - worlds can be joined in ways we don't know about."

He takes a sip of tea.

"I could speak to her, if she's been... insistent? It may be that, like me, she doesn't understand the entire truth, and we- well. Some who come here ignore the rules, and they tend to be people with an affiliation to the Dark Arts of their worlds. Many of us have been intentional in protecting Milliways and its patrons."

Intentional, zealous, you pick. But it's true, and Tom can't say he's against the warriors of the light protecting Milliways.

[lightamidchaos]

He shakes his head.

"I do not think she knows. Or cares. She needs help, and is not inclined to accept a refusal."

[riddleofthebelow]

"Hmm." He frowns. On one hand, the not accepting a refusal sounds very much like Moiraine. Oh the other, not knowing or caring definitely does not sound like her at all.

"I have to admit, Lan Wangji, I don't know what to think of that."

[lightamidchaos]

"Desperate people do desperate things."